Dead yet Alive

Dead Yet so alive
A parades that is hell
A slave of my own freedom
A slave in freedom
Chained and shackled
Doomed
Shackled and doomed

I am suffering
Hoping to see a saviour
Salvation I seek
For I feel sick
A sensention so sentimental
It all lingers in my mental mentality
that I can't avoid
My mind is now a void..

So weak
So sick
Pain at it's peak
I can't pick
What can't be picked

I take a breathe
But the breathe won't help
It's like adding more pain
For I feel am breathing no gas
I have foreseen
What was seen
For this is a sin
Not done by me
Close to the original sin

I am living a lie
Everybody should avoid me
Don't ask Me why
Then should I sit and cry

It's like being captured on claws
Punished by local laws
Throw, dumped in a dumpster
I look at my star
I see failure, i am unlucky
So unlucy

My blood poisoned
More of a snake poison, fang
My breath weak, Till the lung
I seem so young
But I am hopeless
Dead Yet alive
Shall I survive
Shall I stay alive
For I am being punished by a sin
A sin not committed by me

Will I win
This game of life?
Perhaps not
I fight, struggle to survive
I strive
I am weak and sick
I am dead yet alive...

Complicated

Afraid of the dark
Yet inside so dark
Scooped from the light into darkness Destined to greatness
Yet lost in greatmess
Living under the doom
A walk by the yard
But the steps shuttered
Like a moon outshined by the sun
The moon so dim
Vision drowsy
Blurred
My vision red-pure-mess BLOOD
Trickling down thee vain
Crying is the solution
For the feeling is pain
Mixed reaction
Sugar and salt are also a solution
My intention is not affection
My intenstion confusion
Blurred vision

Look beyond the walls
And you shall see
Attention is not what I mention
Affection is not another intention
Confusion might be the intension

NOTE that it is NOT love you NOT

I love you
I love you not
That's the confusion that people have but NOT me
NOTE that I love you
NOT
I love you NoT
NOTE
That i love you
Not I love you not
Yes I love you
That you have to note

I love her with passion thats a fact. 

I will love her not 

Note that I will love her.

I speak now ... part 1

I speak like a politician
Yet am not one
I speak for the politician
Yet they silence me
I want to speak
But my mouth is shut
Zipper zipping zip zap
My mouth

I want to shout
Yet they call it noise
I want to speak aloud
They hold my mouth
Saying I am a noisemaker
Yet they shout out proudly
Proudly they talk false things
They lie of what they have done
Liars lying and laying down

I want to tell the people,
Will the people listen?
I want to open this box,
The box of Pandora
But will people allow me
Their minds brain washed
Washed by lies
Lies now lay in their mind
do you Mind if I speak the truth in your mind?

I now open Pandora
will they run
When pandora is opened
Hell shouldn't break lose
Breath let us not Loose
Shall I choose
What to say and what to loose
What to speak and what to drop
My mind undecided

I shall speak now
Aloud...
Open...
Fearless....
Am not frighten now
If you wish to shut me down
So is you wish
If you wish to run away from the truth
Your wish is my command
Am fearless
Less fear
Moreover no fear
I speak now
But not today I shall speak tomorrow
For tomorrow and today have no difference....

To be continued.....

Amina answer me part 1

Silence can mean alot....
It can mean that I should wait. It can mean am stupid. It can mean walk away. It can also mean I feel the same way that you are feeling.
It can mean alot but, what does alot mean?
I can't really explain the feeling. Some time I think I have reached a point were the solution can't take any solute ( I can't remember if it is solute or solvent,,, whatever the case I forgot science way back when I was in school ) the point still remains I feel that I have reached a point were I call it saturation.( the scientists call it that way)

I can't take this any more for the silence in her kills me.

I remember that day vividly like it just happened a day ago. The date I can't remember but the month I can tell ;October. She was that girl everbody was willing to talk to.
Every girl wanted to be her and every boy wanted to be with her. Lucky for me I was her friend from the same department. We used to talk and talk.
Everybody was shocked by how we were related as if we were dating. To many I was not the type of boy who would talk to such a girl.
That can tell you all how beautiful she was. She was beautiful. Her smile even that of Monalisa was just not close to here beautiful smile. Some said it was a killer smile others called it amazing. ( for me the smile was more than amazing )

The smile to me was MAGICAL.
This is just about the smile of Amina. (Swahili word for Amen but the Islam found it to be a name. No offense. But when you looked at Amina you would say Amen to God for he answered an unanswered question. Where are the beautiful girls? Amina was one of them. )

Darkness Prevails

I am dark
I am black
Black
Dark and proud
Am proud to be black
Am proud to be dark
Writings are in black
Black is dark
I love it when its dark
The night is longer
The day is shorter
The night is dark
Love for the night
For night is dark
Great things are dark
Good things are dark
Good things are done in the dark
Sex in the night
Sex in the night
Sex is done at night
When it is dark
Europeans are white
But their shadows are black
They might be white
But their hair are black
My hair is black
My shadow is black
What makes the difference
Their president is black
Their president is dark
Obama is black
The print is in black
The print is dark
I am black
And my heart is black
Am black and proud
Am dark and proud
I am proud to be black....

Xmas

http://e.3875.com/christmas/em2.html?stra=K!27vin!20Ziro

I miss her. The one I love.

Talking only makes me feel more alone
For the most definate thing is that I talk
To myself in with
Within this pen and paper
Writing is the only option
My opinion my own
My heart torn
Mismentations born
Thou you are gone
Loneliness now born
My heart hurt

It surely hurts the heart realizing the one you really love is far. Memories of her face haunting you like you never imagine. She is the true love of your life and yet you can't see her. Memories of her face captured in the mind and left roaming like a ghost roaming in an old house.

Tragedy it may seem.

Have you ever asked why do we fall in love?
I realise it's hard to answer but it's easy to tell that you love someone so much. You love someone so much that you can't concentrate. My concentration Lost in her.

Her voice is what I remember.
The way she says I love you in her language.
AHERI
It made me love her more and more.
Her hair black African hair.
Her touch touches the soul. I love her in a whole.
I love everthing about her.

Kuoga ni tabu

Maji nitayateka
Karaini nitayaweka
Kabla mwilini kuyaweka
Naanza kutetemeka
Baridi inaniteka
Viguzibampu vinazukaa
Mguu niponye natoka
Chumbani najipata

Kula ni lazima
Kunywa ni lazima
Kuoga si lazima
Na kama ni lazima
wanipe pesa ndoo nzima
Eti niende oga ndoo nzima
Akili yangu Ni nzima
Siezi oga maji ndoo nzima

Kuoga sasa Ni tabu
Mpaka upige mahesabu
Ukijiogea bila hesabu
Baridi itakuadhibu
Nifanyeje kina babu
Naomba niipewe jibu

Sijawasikiani mababu
Mii nataka wasia
Kwani kuoga mi nasusia
Sitaoga hata na wasia
Asante kwa kutonipa jibu
Sasa nafurahia
Sitaoga bila aibu
Kwani kuoga Ni tabu
Mpaka nipige mahesabu

She is gifted.

She was on stage that day singing a song.
Her voice.... what word should I describe her voice. I can't make a choice to find the perfect word to describe her voice.

It's hard, soo hard to describe her voice. Very hard indeed.

Then she started.
The song. The song made me feel a feeling deep. Wah!!!!  She sings.

One word I can say is that she is amazing.
Her name is Clara... I call her Whitney.

She is gifted.
Clara
Her voice!!!

Crushed by sense not in the mind.

The sense in my mind is so sensitive. It is so sensitive that I can't sense if I talk sense or nonsense. The sense I have can't even differentiate if am in pretence or am being realistic. The reality still stays that I can't tell whether am talking sense or nonsense.

Sometimes I wish I was olderer. Ask me why. I just don't wish to be younger. I look around and feel depressed. Pure intense. Nothing close to pretence. Older I wish I am because all around I see the difference between me and them.
Look at them, the people around.
I can't even walk about nor talk about anything that I feel.
I feel a feeling in me that is so complicated.

Why do I like them; the older. Yet am so young. My body looks big but the class am in suggests otherwise. Am not wise enough to sit down feel the feeling in me.

Killing me slowly like poison in thee food that I eat daily.
That's how the feeling feels.
It feels so intence.

That's how I feel about her. My crush has crushed my heart for she is older I am younger. Vision drawsy I can't see anything. I see myself with nothing in my mind but thee thought of her.
Her touch, is like when you get a soft touch from a baby. Her lips... wow so pink like the pink berry. I wonder how the taste I bet they taste better than chocolate. My wish is that I may taste them one day.
But they say wishes are not horses, and if wishes were horses then I would ride them.
I have wishes. My greatest wish being held by her in my arm and telling me that she loves me too.

I just wish but then the girl of my admiration is older I am younger. That makes the difference. The code says that a man should be older and a girl younger. I am limited to go beyond the road. My road of success would end the day she looks at my eye and say I love you too.

I am young and in love with a lady older than me.
Am just in love with the wrong person. 

Hard to explain

I have a feeling
That deep feeling
Thee feeling in me 
That's hard to explain
For I can't explain if it's pain
Or more of unresolved pain

I can't explain it
For Thee explanation in it
Is so so hard to explain
will i gain
Or shall I remain in pain

This is pure pain....
The feeling in me is pain..
So hard to explain

The escape.

For a moment I thought it was over.
I never felt the feeling before in my life but that particular day I knew I was going to a place under.
I had that feeling that the angel of death had finally caught up with me. Maybe my time had finally come. Never to expect such a thing.

To me I never thought it was a realty but the reality was real. It was no dream, but a real situation happening to me. Many of the times I had ignored the fact that such a situation may happen to me.
But that was the day, the day when the rain, rains not to stop. The day when all trees are not safe for the monkey. The day when thunder thundered and thundered fear in me. It was the day I realised that in me lies a talent that should be worked on. My talent to run. I never imagined that I was able to run like bolt.
Thee fear made me run.
They came one by one.
And one by One they attacked.
I managed the impossible. To run away. Escape from the masked men.

Skuile racism itaisha

Nilini ubaguzi utaisha....angalia yo maisha, kila tym wao hututisha...
Tunaamka Saa Tisa, tukienda waks tukidhani ubaguzi utaisha....

Ceo alisema hatakimya...
Mi najoin the movement nikisema sitanyamaza... juu si Ndo Unchained voices tutaongea juu wanatutupa ka takataka mpaka Hatujui mpaka kati yao na sisi..wao Ni Mafisi, maibilisi wasiojali tunayoyahisi, nani atakua fundi nani atakua mhandisi,maana Mi ndo kasisi. Napreach 2nayo yahisi
Hii ndo hali halisi mtimani nayohisi
Huu ni mpaka kati ya panya na paka...
Mapaka shume wanatupaka paka maongo kwa uso wakidhani wataziba hii kiraka.....haraka haraka Haina baraka lakini Niko na haraka ya kutaka change juu hiyo ndo the only baraka.... Barack Obama alikua baraka lakini sioni hio baraka juuu wanatudharau si wanyonge.... wacha tubonge ukweli, the Common reality Ni kua hii reality ya racism haitaisha...
Itaisha skuile white cars  hazitatumia black tires
Itaisha ile siku watu wakiacha kuosha nguo za white first na black mwisho
Itaisha skuile watu wataacha kuvaa white kwa wedding na black kwa funeral
Itaisha skuile black itastop kua symbol ya failure na horror na white kua symbol ya peace
Itaisha skuile nitawin pool table kila white ball kwa table
Itaisha skuile tukiacha kuitwa black na hao white
Itaisha skuile tutajua the only race ni nationalism

Skuile racism itaisha

Today

I sit on a corner
With a bright sight
But then I see people blinded
Blinded by Thee leaders
Leaders who keep on their lie
I can't lie on my bed
I cant lie to you my friend
I can't lie that I can't lie on my own bed coz they lie
I can't lie to you my friend
That the leaders lie
Why lie that the leaders don't lie?
Do you want to cry,
Because you realise that the leaders lie?
Don't cry?

Because I hate them

I hated them yesterday
I hate them today
And the day after today
For what what they said yesterday
What they said about today 
Is not what they do today

Today according to them

Today was going to be amazing
Today was going to be better

But look at today

Do you see any better?
Just look at today!!!

Not that am a hater
But I want to see a better today

For each and everyday
We see nothing
They promised Today

Today with jobs for the youth
Today with roads tarmaced
Today with a better economy
Today were Thee hungry get food
Today were the sick are treated free
Today were the pregnant mother's are taken care of
Today were street children are taken care of
Today were orphans get parents in orphanages
Today were our father's get better salary

But

Look at today

Were the youth stay jobless
Their only job is to look for a job
Were the roads are not tarmaced
Yet their path ways are tarmaced
Were the economy is getting poorer and poorer day by day
A fifty shilling not lasting a meal
Were the hungry stay hungry day by day
Yet they feed a fifty thousand meal per meal, is this real?
Were the sick stay in hospitals without treatment
yet they treat themselves by giving themselves luxury
Were the pregnant women have no one to take care of them
Yet their pregnant stomachs are well taken care of by the food they eat
Were street children are left on the street
With nothing to feed on
Yet their children don't know even our own streets
Were orphans have no one
No one to make them feel life
Look at today were our father's strike
Crying out haki yetu on the street
Seeking salary incrimate
Yet Thee leaders don't go to the streets
But in a word they increase their own salary

That is our today

Will today ever change
We want a better today
The today that they promised

For if they don't give us today
Forever they will be our foes

We will change them
For they promised change
Yet they don't offer change
If they don't bring change
We will change

Those who promised change

For a better today

Today

A better tomorrow

My heart knows exactly how the filling feels
My mind acknowledges the fact of how my heart feels
But....but I continuously shun the filling away
And I doubt it to the highest degree
But deep inside of me I know
I know atleast am happy
When I feel that feeling in me
The filling in my heart

Jalali jalia amenijalia
Hata sitaki lia
Nor filled with fear
I am here
Without fear
Oooooh my dear
Why should we fear
Usiwe na fear
Wala usitake lia

My words

I speak words that take me go to a further destination,
Each word that I mention,
Has no limitation,
What lies in my mind sends all to a far destination,

My destination

My destination is GREATNESS
Never to be GREATMESS

I am not in control

I am not in control of the words I speak
I am not in control of when to speak
But I am a poet With word to speak

My voice

I am a voice with words like Meth to crack addicts
Like bible verses to the lost
Saints locked in life matrices
Captives in shanty hoods
My words heal broken hearts

So,

I am

Thee saviour
Thee lost bullet in a soldiers gun
Thee saviour to street crimes

It is time to transform
Transform people

Thee saviour to the motherless
Thee saviour to the motherless babies
Thee saviour to street children
Children with nothing in their hands But only a cup with no cent
Nothing on them but their common sense
The sense that are just common to them

My words are like the Ark that saved Noah
Saved him from drowning

Drowning into vision blurred
Blood trickling down
Causing pain a d disharmony
Lost hope

My words are to create hope

Hope to the hopeless
Hope to the dying patient
Hope to the patient to be patient
Hope to the crack addicts
Hope to the broken hearts
Hope to the captives in shanty hoods
Hope to the soldiers without hope
Hope to the motherless
Hope to the motherless babies
Hope to the street children

Let all have Hope for a better tomorrow
A happier tomorrow
A better tomorrow
A Hopeful tomorrow
A tomorrow without Sorrow

I was told tomorrow shall come
Tomorrow shall arrive
Tomorrow shines brighter
Tomorrow is amazing

A tomorrow with no sorrow

Care zero

It's all about trying. No body starts from the top, even the great people were undermined at some point... people bluffing and talking dirty or more so shit won't scare the he'll out of we....Coz their words are like a drop in an ocean...
Some words we take them as compliment to change we...

It all starts from somewhere.

Change what has not been changed

We want change
Yet we are chained
Innocent mind
Chained by unbroken shackles
Movement shutted
Steps shutted

Evil growing in their mentality
Lying is their order of the day
Each day, every day
They promised change
But I see no change
Since the time they preached change
The only change I have seen
Is the sin,
The sin they do, thinking they are not seen

fools...fools....fools

The sin
The lying game
A movie turning to reality
A reality for they are living a lie
A way they used us
To win our votes
Blinding us with their words
Sweet words yet now we see the venom

Pain

Torture

Sorrow

Suffering

All we face yet they promised none of it
I feel the heat
For I wanted no pain but gain
Now I receive pain and no gain
For sure this is torture
We are tortured by yhe economy
For day by day we face thee sorrow
I wanted a better tomorrow
But I see a tomorrow with suffering
Homeless suffering
Street children crying
The dying patient helpless
The prisoners dying
The poor are crying
Voiceless

Less fortunate
Greatness turning to greatmess
No salvation
No helper
No consolation
What is to be done!!!

They promised change
We want change
We want to see the change
We want to see the change
The change you promised to make our country change
For if we don't see thee change
We will change
Yee who promised change

When things goes all wrong.

She was all I ever wanted. Her body...daim she was a queen. At some point I thought her behind was the same as that of Vera sidika mind you she was not made in China like vera. She was an African beauty. Berkeley colour dark but not that dark she was just a light ebony Chiquita.

I knew I made it when I approched her. My words were so sweet, but  my words were not only enough.
I had to think like a gentleman. That's what I thought.
I acted gental and she liked it.
She gave me responses that I never had... kissing was on a daily bases.

In response I gave her treats. We went to steers, swimming, to the national park, mesuem and every place that you can imagine.
I spend my little money full on her.
I just wanted to have have.

Then came the day.

I took her to the one place I knew it right things would change.

That day I prepared early enough. My room well arranged unlike usual. Scented with strawberry. Red for sure was dominant in my room.

The symbol of love.

On that fateful day.

She was in red. In we went.
We started it with stories. Then the stories grew into kissing. Then the kissing made the little guy down there go GaGa. Today he was claiming for something to vomit ator else he vomits on me.

I tried to do it. And the I received a heavy a blow.

Daim!!! 
Like serious!!!
She gave me such a response.
After what I had done for her. Seriously I had used all my money and all she can say is she is in her periods.

That's what happened.....

Friendship

She is so special
Though I take a different diversion
To this new version
A version
of compassion
For she has some passion
I can't let go
Though I don't want to go

Things change
But one thing never changes
What I feel
What I feel,
Is more than what you feel